Many surrogates consider an independent journey, or a surrogacy journey without an agency, for various reasons. In our last blog, we discussed independent surrogacy from the intended parents' perspective, highlighting the steps they must take. Now, we’ll focus on what independent surrogacy means for surrogates and the key factors to consider. Some surrogates prefer the flexibility and direct relationship with intended parents, while others see it as a way to help a family they already know. However, independent journeys also come with challenges, including handling negotiations, legal steps, and screening without agency support.
If you are considering an independent surrogacy journey, here are some essential qualifications, factors to consider, and steps to take before you move forward.
Basic Qualifications to Be a Surrogate
Before pursuing independent surrogacy, you must meet certain qualifications. These are common requirements set by fertility clinics and surrogacy professionals:
A history of full-term live births – Surrogates must have had at least one full-term pregnancy and delivery. This is because past pregnancies provide proof that your body can carry a baby to term safely.
U.S. citizen or green card holder – This is important for legal and medical reasons.
BMI of 32 or less – Many fertility clinics have BMI restrictions because a higher BMI can increase pregnancy risks, including gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, although some allow a higher BMI, while others require a lower one.
Not on government assistance – Financial stability is a requirement because surrogacy should not be a financial decision made out of desperation. Most agencies prohibit surrogates from being on government assistance to avoid legal complications.
Not taking antidepressant medication – Certain medications are incompatible with pregnancy. In addition, a history of mental illness may disqualify you.
A lack of a criminal record.
If you do not meet these requirements, you may not be eligible to be a surrogate, whether through an agency or independently, although some altruistic journeys with relatives may be overlook some of these factors.
Independent vs. Agency Surrogacy
Before committing to an independent journey, it’s essential to understand how it differs from an agency-assisted process.
Less financial compensation – Some intended parents are choosing independent surrogacy to save money, meaning they may not offer the same compensation packages as agency matches. While many times the base compensation may match packages offered by agencies, the other allowances and compensation will not, and it will take careful research to determine what the market rate is on these if that is what you are expecting.
No agency assistance – Agencies typically handle matching, screening, legal steps, and emotional support. In an independent journey, you will be responsible for finding and vetting intended parents, negotiating compensation, and coordinating medical steps and not having support outside of the intended parents and your own circle.
More control over the process – Independent surrogacy allows you to choose your intended parents, set your terms, and have a more direct relationship.
If you’re comfortable handling these aspects on your own, independent surrogacy may be a good option for you.
Choosing Intended Parents
Your relationship with the intended parents is one of the most important factors in an independent journey. You should ask yourself:
Are these intended parents people you already know? (Friends or family members?)
Were they referred to you by someone you trust?
Did you find them through an online group or surrogacy community?
Do they share your values regarding communication, medical decisions, and birth plans?
It’s crucial to do your due diligence before moving forward. If you find it too hard to do it on your own, there are many consultants in the surrogacy field who will assist you and often at no cost to you. However, they may pass on their cost to the intended parents. In addition, your attorney can also conduct a background check on your intended parents if you don’t know them.
Key Questions for the Initial Match Meeting
Before agreeing to move forward, have an open discussion with the intended parents. Here are some important questions to ask:
What are your expectations for communication during the pregnancy?
How involved do you want to be in medical appointments and the birth?
What are your views on medical decisions, such as termination, selective reduction and C-section preferences? Will I be expected to travel if my state’s laws are restrictive?
How many embryos will you transfer?
What are your expectations regarding compensation and reimbursements?
What state’s laws will the contract be drafted in?
Do you have embryos ready, who is your doctor and clinic, and do they have any specific requirements for surrogates?
All of these questions are important. Clarifying expectations, including getting certain terms of the expected contract in writing, at an early stage can prevent misunderstandings later in the process.
When to Talk About Compensation
Compensation should be discussed before medical screening and before attorneys start drafting contracts. This ensures that both you and the intended parents are aligned on financial expectations.
Be clear about base compensation, allowances, and potential additional fees (C-section, lost wages, maternity clothing, travel expenses, etc.). If you have a list of compensation terms you want, provide it and come to an agreement.
Ask if they have escrow set up for payments to be managed properly and how long escrow will remain open.
Even in an altruistic or low compensation journey, ensure that the intended parents do not intend to take shortcuts or will be stingy by avoiding physicians, attorneys, and escrow.
If intended parents hesitate to discuss compensation early on, it may indicate that they are not financially prepared for surrogacy.
Should You Request a Background Check?
Just as intended parents screen surrogates, surrogates should also ensure their intended parents are trustworthy. Before medical screening, consider asking for:
A criminal background check – This helps ensure that you are working with responsible individuals.
Financial verification – While this is not always required, knowing that intended parents have the financial means to pay for the journey as they promise can give you peace of mind.
References from past surrogates (if applicable) – If they have had a previous surrogacy journey, speaking with their past surrogate can provide insight into their experience.
Background checks are especially important if you are matching with intended parents you do not personally know.
Final Thoughts
Independent surrogacy can be a rewarding experience, but it requires careful planning and research. If you are not comfortable managing the process on your own, consider seeking support from surrogacy consultants, attorneys, or agencies that offer partial services. For more insights on independent journeys from a surrogate’s perspective, check out our interview with Dr. Grace Kao.
At Tsong Law Group, we assist surrogates and intended parents in exploring independent surrogacy with legal guidance and professional referrals. If you have questions about your rights, compensation, or contract terms, contact us for a consultation.
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